I must apologize to all of you. I have let you down.

Last year, both Marvel and DC comics each put out “earth-shattering” works that forever changed the status quo of their respective super-hero universes. Marvel’s Avengers Disassembled broke apart their core team, while Identity Crisis revealed some very dark skeletons in the hero’s closets.

And both were very, very dumb.

Which is why I ignored them.

But what I didn’t do is actively piss on them, decrying them as the pointless continuity masturbation sessions that they were. As a result, I cannot help but feel responsible for the thousands of readers who bought those arcs AND all related titles, lining the pockets of Marvel and DC, and giving them the idea that it was all a “good thing”.

Cause now, guess what? They’re back at it. House of M from Marvel, and no less than 4 story arcs from DC all culminating with Infinite Crisis later this year. And if that wasn’t enough, they’ve all announced the next massive “change the status quo” forever cross-title arc for next year.

And people are still buying it.

What is wrong with it exactly? Am I one of those “poo-poo”-ers that do not like the murder and sex these stories introduced into the worlds of super-heroes? Hell no. I was with Authority from the start, and Alan Moore did it bigger and better in the 80s. Sex and heroes can (and should) mix.

My issue is precisely what I mentioned before; the plot and supposed “shocks” are vested in readers knowing and loving the dirty c-word of comics: CONTINUITY!

For example; why is it shocking that Maxwell Lord is the genius head of an organization tracking and controlling Superheroes? Because we comic lovers know he was a playboy loser mascot sidekick in the 80s. <sarcasm>Oooooh! Shocking!</sarcasm>

A rebuttal to my stance is that I am not the real target audience. This stuff is suppose to the real fanboys who are ready for real change and new stories.

Okay if that is the case, I still say these are the worst things to happen to comics. Because while movies like Batman and Spider-man reel in potential new readers into shops to grab comics, these stories relying on one understanding nearly 4 decades worth of background history will surely drive them away.

Because you know what? I know the continuity, and I’ve been driven away.