“Oh my GOD! He did it AGAIN! He SHAT in front of the TV!!!”

Bisou the Cat flattened his ears against his head, and did the same with his furry, black and white body and the floor. The Not-Nice Goddess had found his mark. This meant trouble and the possible failure of his work.

“What, Mom?”

Bisou peeped open a single eye to see the Weak God coming over. He hated calling the God weak, as the God was so nice to him, but that was precisely why the God was weak.

“Oh, he shat again,” said the Weak. “No problem, I’ll clean it up.” The God reached down and began to stroke Bisou. Weak.

“No problem?! No problem?!” screeched Not-Nice.

“What’s not a problem?” said the Sometimes God, walking in eating a Green-Sweet. He was only a sometimes God, because sometimes he was here, and sometimes he wasn’t. It was a bit confusing for Bisou to understand, but whatever, the God fed him sometimes, so that made him a God sometimes.

“Oh, he shat again,” continued Sometimes. “I’ll get the mop and bag.”

“Yes! And it IS a problem! It’s unclean, UNHEALTHY for us to be living like THIS, him shitting WHEREVER he wants!” said the Not-Nice. Bisou did not understand a word of it, but he figured the topic was pretty obvious. The Not-Nice, apart from being not nice to him, never liked his castings. If only she would understand.

“C’mon, Mom, we always clean it up quickly,” said the Weak. “It’s not that bad.”

“Not THAT bad?!?! Not THAT BAD?!?” said Not-Nice. “He has been doing it for the last 4 years now!!! Every other day.”

“Hey,” said the returning Sometimes. “Did you notice, he always shitting in the same places?” Sometimes started to collect Bisou’s mark. Bisou silently sighed in frustration. Two days work gone. His task would never be complete.

“That’s just because he is marking his territory,” said Weak. “Isn’t that right, Bisou? Isn’t that right Bis Bis.” Too late, Bisou could not avoid the Weak was picking him up, and swinging him to lie on his back in the Weak’s cradled arms. “He is so cute! He is so cute!” sang the Weak, and nuzzled his nose against Bisou’s. Bisou affectionately licked the God back, trying to communicate that while he loved the Weak as well (and he did) he wanted to be put down now so others would not construe that he was as weak as the God. As always the Weak never got this, so Bisou began looking for an exit strategy.

“Yeah, I guess,” said Sometimes. “Still, I swear its always exactly, precisely the same pinpoint locations. And I think he always places the individual pellets in the same pattern.”

“Like to look at his pellets, do you?” smiled the Weak, and then continued nuzzling. Bisou tried to squeeze his snout through the armpit of the God, but that seemed to only encourage more attention.

“WHAT does it matter?” said the Not-Nice. She sighed, and started to walk away. “Why I agreed to get a cat I will never understand.”

With her leaving the room, Bisou was relieved that he would be safe once more, though he was still entangled in the Weak’s arms. He decided he had no recourse but to roar.

“Mew,” he said.

“What’s that Bisou?” said the Weak. “You want to look out the window? Okay, here you go little guy.” The God carried him to the large, closed hole to the outside and let him drop. Bisou quickly turn back and see if he could save any of his mark, but already the two Gods were striding away with his efforts. He again sighed his frustrations.

<<Problems with the Gods?>>

Looking back to the hole, he could see his nemesis Shadow on the other side.

<<Oh. Hi Shadow.>> said Bisou in attempted indifference.

<<It’s such a wonderful day to be outside,>> said the black cat, stretching his body long, luxuriously. <<In case you were wondering. Yes, so much room, so much space to do whatever I want. Chase birds. Lie in the sun.>>

<<Work my magic,>> Shadow sneered significantly. >>Spells as large and as many as I choose, wherever I feel like.>>

Bisou realized he was being goaded. He decided to beat Shadow to it.

<<Dog!>> spat Bisou.

<<Admit it!>> hissed Shadow. <<Admit that your Gods are weak! That they think you are weak! They don’t even stop me from casting my marks in land that should be yours, while my Gods let me go anywhere and work great magics in their names!>>

It was true, Bisou knew. He was not permitted through the holes into the large outside. This limited where he could cast, and even then the Gods were quick to erase the marks. The magics all had worked as far as he knew; no attack or disaster had taken place to prove otherwise. Still, to be out and free. To pound Shadow senseless with paws or real marks. Still, they were his Gods and it was his place to defend them. And thinking about the fact his small, brief casts had been greatly successful gave an indirect way to strike at Shadow.

<<I have never seen your Gods,>> said Bisou. <<In fact, how do I know you are not one of the Godless ones, with all the world to cast but marks weak, small, and runny for no constant food or peace.>>

Shadow glared back at Bisou but said nothing.

<<What has your magic gotten you?>> pushed Bisou. <<Any attack you have cast, I have so far easily blocked even with the brief time my marks exist. If any attacks existed in the first place, as I have never even felt them.>>

The two cats stared at each other. Shadow broke it off, and, with a final hiss, strode away. Soon the black cat was outside the field of vision the large hole provided. Bisou wondered about cats, Gods, marks, magic, and why it had to be so. In the end it didn’t matter, he loved his Gods, Not-Nice, Weak, Sometimes, Loud, and High. Especially Weak.

Thinking about him, Bisou decided to find him out and get some food. He would need it for his next cast.